carlosia

I read todays entry and I wish there was something I could do. I see you hurting and I wish I could just hug everything better. Unfortunately, life does not work like that. So many things I wish I did different. The only thing I can do now is wish that things get better and you find happiness.

-CS-

I thought of you again today. We haven’t really talked in a while and I don’t like that. I can’t blame you though because it’s all my fault. You were the best thing that has happened to me in a while and I will always regret what I did. I can’t turn back time, I can’t change what I said, I can’t make you like me again. All I can do is learn from this experience and try not to mess things up with the next girl.

I don’t think you actually know how long it took me to find someone like you and I’m not sure how much longer it will take me to find someone I like as much as I like you. Yes, I still like you. You may think otherwise because of what I said that night. I was scared. Really scared. You made my heart happy and I was afraid you would break it like the girls before you. So I did the thing I do best, buried myself in my work. I’m sorry I never gave us a chance. I never gave you a chance.

I’m trying my hardest to move on, but it doesn’t help that I get that nervous feeling every time I see you or read your tweet/facebook statuses. Even though I know you’ll never see this post, expressing my feelings is making me feel better. Well, I guess this is it. Now it is time to stop typing and start living.

-CS-

amandavanvels:

i don’t know how to feel about everything right now. is it possible to be overwhelmed with so many feelings that it just becomes a numbing feeling? like how all the primary colors of light layered on top of each other is white?

(via lindsbian)